Student Harassment and Stalking Defense

Harassment and stalking charges often begin with a relationship that went wrong: a breakup, a falling-out between roommates, a friendship that ended badly, or a disagreement inside a club or team. One student reports the other, the school issues a no-contact directive, and a conduct case opens. It is written for a student accused of stalking or harassment under a code of conduct, for parents, and for anyone deciding whether to call a college harassment defense lawyer. It explains how schools define these charges, the federal rules that apply to stalking cases, how no-contact directives work, and how to respond.

These cases often involve a series of messages or encounters. The school is often looking at a series of messages, visits or encounters over weeks or months, and deciding what they add up to. The full timeline is often the most important piece of evidence, and you are often the person best placed to rebuild it.

Harassment and stalking are defined by your school’s code

There is no single definition of harassment that every college uses. Each code writes its own, and the details matter. Some codes define harassment as conduct that is severe or pervasive enough to interfere with someone’s education. Others focus on conduct directed at a specific person that a reasonable person would find intimidating or threatening. Some list examples, such as repeated unwanted messages or contact after being asked to stop. Read the exact definition in the section you are charged under, then compare it, element by element, with what you actually did.

Stalking has a federal definition that many schools use or adapt. The Clery Act regulation defines stalking as “engaging in a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person” to fear for their safety or the safety of others, or to suffer substantial emotional distress (34 C.F.R. 668.46(a)). A “course of conduct” means two or more acts, and the definition covers following, monitoring, surveilling, threatening, or communicating “to or about a person” by any means, directly, indirectly or through third parties (34 C.F.R. 668.46(a)). “Substantial emotional distress” means “significant mental suffering or anguish” that may, but does not have to, require treatment (34 C.F.R. 668.46(a)).

That definition is broad, and it is judged from the point of view of a “reasonable person under similar circumstances and with similar identities to the victim” (34 C.F.R. 668.46(a)). It is still a test with parts. The school has to show a course of conduct, directed at a specific person, of a kind that would cause a reasonable person fear or substantial emotional distress. Messages that were mutual, that stopped when someone asked, or that were about shared responsibilities such as a lease or a class project may not meet it.

The fair process rules for stalking cases

When a school disciplines a student for alleged stalking, the Clery Act regulation requires the school’s published procedures to provide “a prompt, fair, and impartial process from the initial investigation to the final result” (34 C.F.R. 668.46(k)(2)(i)). The same rule applies to alleged dating violence, domestic violence and sexual assault. Among other things, the school must:

• Give the accuser and the accused the same opportunities to have others present, including the opportunity to be accompanied to any related meeting or proceeding by the advisor of their choice (34 C.F.R. 668.46(k)(2)(iii)).
• Not limit the choice of advisor for either side, though it may restrict how much the advisor participates if the restrictions apply equally to both parties (34 C.F.R. 668.46(k)(2)(iv)).
• Provide “timely and equal access” to the accuser, the accused and appropriate officials to any information that will be used during informal and formal disciplinary meetings and hearings (34 C.F.R. 668.46(k)(3)(i)(B)(3)).
• Use officials who do not have a conflict of interest or bias for or against either side (34 C.F.R. 668.46(k)(3)(i)(C)).
• Notify both sides in writing, at the same time, of the result and the appeal procedures, with the rationale for the result and the sanctions (34 C.F.R. 668.46(k)(2)(v), (k)(3)(iv)).

These rules apply to stalking cases under the general code of conduct, not only under Title IX. If your school is handling a stalking charge without giving you access to the information it will use, or without letting you bring an advisor, that is worth raising in writing.

When harassment or stalking becomes a Title IX matter

If the alleged harassment is sexual, or is based on sex, or the stalking happened within a dating relationship, the school may decide to handle it under its Title IX policy. Federal Title IX rules include stalking within their definition of sexual harassment (34 C.F.R. 106.30). Sometimes the opposite happens: a school treats a sex-related complaint as an ordinary code of conduct case, with fewer procedural protections. Check which policy your notice cites, because the procedures differ. Our guide to stalking accusations under Title IX covers the Title IX side.

No-contact directives

Schools often issue a no-contact directive as soon as a harassment or stalking complaint comes in, sometimes before they have spoken to the accused student. A directive is not a finding that you did anything wrong. But breaking one can be charged as a separate violation.

• Follow it exactly, including messages through friends, comments or likes on social media, and showing up where the other student is likely to be.
• Ask for clarity in writing if you share a class, a lab, a team, a job or a residence hall. The school can adjust schedules or set rules for shared spaces.
• Keep a record of any contact the other student starts, without responding to it.

Our guide to practical questions about campus no-contact directives covers more of this.

Threats and free speech

Some harassment charges are based entirely on words: messages, posts or comments. At a public college, the First Amendment limits what the school can punish. Threats of violence are not protected, but the Supreme Court has held that the government must show the speaker “consciously disregarded a substantial risk that his communications would be viewed as threatening violence” (Counterman v. Colorado, 600 U.S. 66 (2023)). That case was a criminal stalking prosecution based on online messages. A public school applying its own threat or harassment rule is working within the same constitutional limits. See our guide to student social media and cybermisconduct for more on online conduct.

Building your response

• Rebuild the full timeline. Export complete message histories, not just the messages the other student reported. Note when contact was mutual, who started each exchange, and whether you stopped when asked.
• Save context. Shared leases, group projects, team schedules and mutual friends can explain why two people kept crossing paths.
• Identify witnesses who saw the relationship over time, not only on one day.
• Ask for your records. Under FERPA, an eligible student may inspect and review his or her education records, and the school must comply within 45 days (34 C.F.R. 99.10(a), (b)).
• Do not reach out to the other student to try to clear things up, even politely. Contact after a complaint is often the evidence a stalking case needs.

For the general process, start with our student discipline defense overview. For hearings, see university disciplinary hearings.

Sources for This Guide

• 34 C.F.R. 668.46: Clery Act institutional security policies and crime statistics (eCFR)
• 34 C.F.R. 106.30: Title IX definitions (eCFR)
• Counterman v. Colorado, 600 U.S. 66 (2023) (Cornell LII)
• 34 C.F.R. 99.10: Rights of inspection and review of education records (eCFR)

Last verified: October 2026

Student Harassment and Stalking FAQ

Can I be charged with stalking for sending messages?

Yes, if the messages are part of a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person fear or substantial emotional distress. Under the Clery Act definition, communicating “to or about a person” can count (34 C.F.R. 668.46(a)). Whether your messages meet the definition depends on what they said, how many there were, and the context.

Is a no-contact directive a punishment?

Schools describe it as a protective step, not a sanction, and it is often issued before any finding. Violating it, though, can be charged as a separate violation of the code.

Can I bring a lawyer to a stalking hearing?

In a stalking case, the Clery Act regulation requires the school to give you the same opportunity as the accuser to be accompanied by the advisor of your choice, who can be a lawyer. The school may limit how much the advisor participates, if the limits apply equally to both sides (34 C.F.R. 668.46(k)(2)(iii), (iv)).

What if the other student kept contacting me too?

Mutual contact is important context. Save every message, including the ones the other student sent, and show the full exchange. It can bear on whether the conduct was “directed at” the other person and whether a reasonable person would have feared for their safety.

Talk to a Lawyer About a Harassment or Stalking Charge

Harassment and stalking cases turn on the whole story, and the whole story is often spread across months of messages and encounters. Getting help early gives you time to rebuild it before the school decides what it means.

If you or your child is facing a harassment or stalking charge at any U.S. college or university, contact us today for a free, confidential consultation before you respond to the school.